TOUCH THE EVIDENCE
Nothing happened. That is exactly what it wants you to think.
Useful / Useless No. 1: The Binder Clip
One object. Five uses. Two are defensible.
PRESS FOR REASSURANCE
Too late. You are already reading Broken Zine.
Useful: cable holder, emergency phone stand, toothpaste squeezer.
Questionable: wallet for exactly three dollars.
Useless but satisfying: clip it to a desk drawer and flick the metal arms when someone says “synergy.”
Rating: 8/10. Industrial goth clothespin.
MARCY COIL
Marcy Coil tests ordinary objects for usefulness, uselessness, emotional leverage, and unexpected second careers.
Push something. The magazine is poorly supervised.
PUSH THE WEIRD BUTTON
A small bureaucrat somewhere just stamped APPROVED FOR NONSENSE.