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City Unveils Nation’s First Emotional-Support Pothole
Officials say the crater has already helped three motorists feel less alone.
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In what transportation officials called “a major shift from repair to relationship,” the city on Tuesday unveiled its first emotional-support pothole.
The pothole, approximately three feet wide and “surprisingly attentive,” will remain in the eastbound lane of Mercer Street, where drivers may hit it at low speed and reflect on the fragility of expectations.
“For years residents asked us to fill it,” public works spokesperson Dan Halbert said. “Eventually we realized the hole was filling something in them.”
The city has installed a small plaque reading YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY THING FALLING APART.
Early reviews have been positive. One commuter described the pothole as “jarring but validating.” Another said her front-left suspension “finally felt seen.”
Officials cautioned residents not to feed the pothole after midnight, widen it themselves, or leave candles in the roadway.
A second emotional-support pothole is already forming naturally two blocks away.
RUBY MORROW
Ruby Morrow reports from the narrow strip of pavement between public relations and complete social collapse.
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A small bureaucrat somewhere just stamped APPROVED FOR NONSENSE.