TOUCH THE EVIDENCE
Nothing happened. That is exactly what it wants you to think.
The Bureau of Minor Curses Is Now Taking Walk-ins
Three small curses, absolutely no refunds. Pick one and see what follows you home.
PRESS FOR REASSURANCE
Too late. You are already reading Broken Zine.
Welcome to the Bureau. Please take a number. The number is already sticky. Choose one curse.
CURSE A · THE WRONG POCKET
Every time you reach for your keys, they will be in the other pocket. When you switch pockets, they will be in your hand.
Duration: until you apologize to the coat.
CURSE B · THE NEARLY EMPTY PEN
Every pen you borrow will write beautifully for exactly one word. That word will be “unfortunately.”
Duration: three important forms.
CURSE C · THE POLITE ELEVATOR
The elevator will hold the door for you from a distance that requires an awkward little run.
Duration: until you stop pretending you weren’t going to run.
The Bureau also offers blessings, but that window closes at 2:06 p.m. The clerk is on break. The clerk has always been on break.
VIC SLOANE
Vic Sloane keeps the odd files, damaged evidence, and stories that should probably have remained in the drawer.
Push something. The magazine is poorly supervised.
PUSH THE WEIRD BUTTON
A small bureaucrat somewhere just stamped APPROVED FOR NONSENSE.