TOUCH THE EVIDENCE
Nothing happened. That is exactly what it wants you to think.
Site News: Office Chair Promoted to Associate Editor
The chair has shown consistency, availability, and a strong record of supporting staff.
PRESS FOR REASSURANCE
Too late. You are already reading Broken Zine.
Broken Zine is pleased to announce that the rolling office chair near the printer has been promoted to Associate Editor.
The chair has served the publication since sometime before anyone started keeping receipts.
Its qualifications include lumbar support, quiet judgment, and the ability to remain present during meetings without checking its phone.
The chair will oversee Sitting, Rotational Affairs, and the Desk Adjacent Initiative.
Compensation remains unchanged.
The chair declined comment but rolled slightly toward the window.
RUBY MORROW
Ruby Morrow covers internal developments of questionable strategic importance.
Push something. The magazine is poorly supervised.
PUSH THE WEIRD BUTTON
A small bureaucrat somewhere just stamped APPROVED FOR NONSENSE.