TOUCH THE EVIDENCE

Nothing happened. That is exactly what it wants you to think.

PRESS FOR REASSURANCE

Too late. You are already reading Broken Zine.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5 government stars.

The plastic chair outside the DMV delivers exactly what its silhouette promises: a place to sit and reconsider the sequence of decisions that led you here.

Comfort: hostile but consistent.

Design: beige in a way that suggests beige won a procurement contract.

Ambience: a child is eating crackers from a zip-top bag. Somewhere, a printer has jammed and chosen death.

Best feature: the chair asks nothing of you except that you eventually stand up.

Would sit again, though not voluntarily.

Darnell Price reviews objects, situations, sounds, and days of the week with more confidence than the evidence supports.

Push something. The magazine is poorly supervised.

PUSH THE WEIRD BUTTON

A small bureaucrat somewhere just stamped APPROVED FOR NONSENSE.