TOUCH THE EVIDENCE
Nothing happened. That is exactly what it wants you to think.
Notice: Lost & Found Is No Longer Accepting Personalities
Keys are fine. Gloves are fine. Your former sense of possibility is not.
PRESS FOR REASSURANCE
Too late. You are already reading Broken Zine.
Effective immediately, the Lost & Found desk will accept the following:
- keys
- wallets
- gloves
- umbrellas
- small bags
- phones, reluctantly
We will no longer accept:
- your old personality
- the confidence you had in 2017
- “the version of me who used to dance”
- closure
- the ability to enjoy brunch
These items take up too much shelf space and nobody ever comes back for them.
MARCY COIL
Marcy Coil issues notices on behalf of institutions that have lost both authority and the little plastic cap from the good pen.
Push something. The magazine is poorly supervised.
PUSH THE WEIRD BUTTON
A small bureaucrat somewhere just stamped APPROVED FOR NONSENSE.