TOUCH THE EVIDENCE
Nothing happened. That is exactly what it wants you to think.
Notice: Elevator B Has Developed Preferences
It still goes to every floor. It just has opinions about some of them.
PRESS FOR REASSURANCE
Too late. You are already reading Broken Zine.
BUILDING NOTICE
Elevator B remains operational but has recently begun demonstrating floor preferences.
Floors 2, 5, and 11 are unaffected.
Floor 7 may require encouragement.
Floor 9 is currently being “avoided for personal reasons.”
Please do not argue with the elevator.
Please do not press 9 repeatedly to prove a point.
If Elevator B opens on a floor you did not select, remain calm and consider whether it knows something.
Maintenance has been notified.
Maintenance has requested not to be involved.
MARCY COIL
Marcy Coil issues notices on behalf of institutions that have lost both authority and the little plastic cap from the good pen.
Push something. The magazine is poorly supervised.
PUSH THE WEIRD BUTTON
A small bureaucrat somewhere just stamped APPROVED FOR NONSENSE.