TOUCH THE EVIDENCE
Nothing happened. That is exactly what it wants you to think.
Notice: The Building Has Been Asked to Stop Sighing
Management acknowledges the repeated exhalations but denies structural melancholy.
PRESS FOR REASSURANCE
Too late. You are already reading Broken Zine.
NOTICE TO ALL TENANTS
Management is aware of reports that the building has been “sighing” between approximately 11:40 p.m. and 2:10 a.m.
Our contractor has inspected the ventilation system and found no mechanical explanation for the sound described as “deeply disappointed,” “maternal,” and “like the building knows what I did.”
Please refrain from addressing the building directly.
Do not apologize to the stairwell.
Do not ask the pipes whether they are proud of you.
We are especially asking Unit 4B to stop leaving encouraging notes near the boiler.
Thank you for your cooperation.
— MANAGEMENT
MARCY COIL
Marcy Coil issues notices on behalf of institutions that have lost both authority and the little plastic cap from the good pen.
Push something. The magazine is poorly supervised.
PUSH THE WEIRD BUTTON
A small bureaucrat somewhere just stamped APPROVED FOR NONSENSE.