TOUCH THE EVIDENCE

Nothing happened. That is exactly what it wants you to think.

PRESS FOR REASSURANCE

Too late. You are already reading Broken Zine.

Materials: one guilty memory, one household object, unnecessary sincerity.

1. Identify something you broke years ago and never properly apologized to. A mug. A chair. A relationship with a printer.
2. If the original object is gone, choose a representative from the same species.
3. Place it on a table.
4. Say, out loud, “I was younger then, but that does not excuse the force I used.”
5. Wait.

If nothing happens, good. Objects are famously withholding.

If the lamp flickers, leave the room.

If the toaster says your name, the experiment has progressed beyond editorial oversight.

Lulu Vex runs experiments that should not require a waiver but somehow feel as if they should.

Push something. The magazine is poorly supervised.

PUSH THE WEIRD BUTTON

A small bureaucrat somewhere just stamped APPROVED FOR NONSENSE.