Diagram for Leaving a Party Without Becoming a Story

A visual field guide for exiting a social event before your departure develops secondary characters.

WHY IS THIS IN THE FILE?

Nobody took responsibility quickly enough.

Rita Splice presents a practical flowchart.

DO YOU WANT TO LEAVE?
        |
       YES
        |
IS ANYONE CURRENTLY TELLING
YOU A STORY ABOUT THEIR PODCAST?
     /        \
   YES        NO
    |          |
NOD ONCE      MOVE
    |          |
SAY “I’M      CAN YOU
GOING TO      SEE THE
GRAB WATER”   DOOR?
    |        /     \
NEVER RETURN YES    NO
             |      |
           LEAVE   YOU NOW
                   LIVE HERE

Emergency amendment: If someone says “one more thing” while touching your elbow, the diagram is legally allowed to burst into flames.

[submission_forum_article_discussion]

CONTRIBUTOR FILE / ACTIVE

Rita Splice

Collage artist and diagram vandal making fake forms, cut-paper arguments, corrupted charts, and visual essays from the remains of respectable communication.

STATUS: UNRULY

“Normal” was considered and rejected.

KNOWN ASSOCIATES: readers, loiterers, people who should know better.

PUSH THE WEIRD BUTTON

A clerk has been notified. They are furious.