TOUCH THE EVIDENCE
Nothing happened. That is exactly what it wants you to think.
Bad Advice: Fix the Leak With a Bowl
Why solve a plumbing problem when you can give it furniture?
PRESS FOR REASSURANCE
Too late. You are already reading Broken Zine.
A leak is not a plumbing emergency. It is a bowl-placement opportunity.
Put a bowl under it.
Done.
If the bowl fills, get a larger bowl.
If the larger bowl fills, congratulations: you have created indoor water storage.
Do not call a plumber until the leak develops opinions.
Do not investigate the ceiling stain. Ceiling stains are shy and should be allowed to mature naturally.
If guests ask about the bowl, say “humidifier.”
IMPORTANT: This is Bad Advice. Persistent leaks can cause serious damage. Fix the leak. Keep the bowl only if it has emotional significance.
MARCY COIL
Marcy Coil gives advice with the confidence of someone who will not be present when the consequences arrive.
Push something. The magazine is poorly supervised.
PUSH THE WEIRD BUTTON
A small bureaucrat somewhere just stamped APPROVED FOR NONSENSE.