WHY IS THIS IN THE FILE?

Nobody took responsibility quickly enough.

The museum opened in a former appliance store and kept the old automatic doors because they only opened halfway.

This was considered appropriate.

Gallery One contained prototypes: a toaster that browned one side perfectly and the other side emotionally; a folding chair that folded while occupied; a municipal website that worked only on Tuesdays between 10:14 and 10:19 a.m.

Gallery Two was more personal.

There was a glass case labeled THE APOLOGY, DRAFT THREE.

Inside lay a sheet of paper beginning, “I’m sorry you felt—” and ending there.

Another display held a wedding ring beside a train ticket that had never been used.

A docent explained that the museum accepted donations but not explanations.

“Explanations make the labels too long,” she said.

Visitors moved quietly through the final room.

Nothing was displayed there.

Instead, each wall had a small brass plaque.

THE BUSINESS YOU NEARLY STARTED.

THE CITY YOU ALMOST MOVED TO.

THE PERSON YOU MEANT TO CALL BACK.

THE VERSION OF YOURSELF THAT REQUIRED ONLY SIX MORE MONTHS.

People stood in front of the plaques longer than they had stood anywhere else.

At closing time, the staff asked everyone to leave through the gift shop.

The gift shop sold pencils with broken erasers, notebooks missing the last page, batteries at 37 percent charge, and postcards that said almost what you wanted them to say.

Outside, the automatic doors opened halfway.

Everyone turned sideways and made it through.

“Normal” was considered and rejected.

KNOWN ASSOCIATES: readers, loiterers, people who should know better.

PUSH THE WEIRD BUTTON

A clerk has been notified. They are furious.