Form 27-B: Request to Be Left Alone
A bureaucratic form for obtaining solitude through a process specifically designed to prevent it.
WHY IS THIS IN THE FILE?
Nobody took responsibility quickly enough.
PLEASE PRINT CLEARLY.
1. Name: ____________________________
2. Preferred duration of being left alone:
☐ 10 minutes
☐ Until tomorrow
☐ Indefinitely
☐ Until everyone has gone home and the refrigerator stops humming
3. Reason for request:
☐ People
☐ One particular person
☐ Notifications
☐ A meeting described as “quick”
☐ No reason. That is the point.
4. Emergency contact:
____________________________________
This person will not be contacted.
5. Applicant signature: ____________________
FOR OFFICE USE ONLY:
Your request has been received. A representative will visit you in person to discuss why you wish to be left alone.
Rita Splice
Collage artist and diagram vandal making fake forms, cut-paper arguments, corrupted charts, and visual essays from the remains of respectable communication.
STATUS: UNRULY
“Normal” was considered and rejected.
KNOWN ASSOCIATES: readers, loiterers, people who should know better.
PUSH THE WEIRD BUTTON
A clerk has been notified. They are furious.